I seem to always be writing about outings we take, or big occasions like holidays and birthdays. I love that I have so much written about Jackson over his first year, and thought that I needed to record down some things about my Ben right now. At his current age of four years and almost nine months old. He keeps me laughing and pulling my hair out every day. He has a lot of catch phrases, which include (and I'm sure I'm missing many): "you have GOT to be kidding me." "a little help here." and "are you serious?"
He is in the in between stage of being super independent and at times (rare moments) reverting back to my baby. He wakes up by himself and doesn't wake me up. Usually during this time he helps himself to some fruit, or occasionally a box of cookies (yeah a whole box of girl scout cookies). Sometimes I think he could fend for himself the entire day if I let him. He can get himself just about any drink or food (he will even eat leftovers straight out of the fridge- cold because "I can't use a microwave of course!") But then there are the times when he wants me to still snuggle up with him at night and watch shows or movies together. He used to be such a snuggle bug, but now its a rare occasion. So I eat it up any chance he gives me. My favorite tradition we have is our bedtime routine. I transport him from my room (where he can be found watching one show before bed each night) via piggyback ride. First stop is the living room for nigh night hugs and kisses for daddy. Second stop is the bathroom for teeth brushing, and last stop is Ben's room. We each pick out one story a night. We always have to read his pick first. It will be fun when one day he'll be reading the stories to me.
Lately he is gotten really concerned with being cool. You wont catch this kid doing anything babyish- like participating in music makers on Friday with Jackson. Although when it came time for the instruments he snatched up a tambourine and marched around in circles with all the littles. See in between. He sometimes thinks he is the boss around here which gets me so worked up that that little mixed notion of his gets whipped from his head immediately. He stresses me out to the point that my back and shoulders ache from worry. Worry that I'm not teaching him enough. Worry that he's not kind enough. Just worry. But at the end of the day when I kiss him on his cheek after I have tucked him and bear and monkey in "really tight" and I tell him I love him, and he says "love you too" as I walk out of his room I know that I shouldn't worry so much. We are learning this parenting thing out together. And just as a I am constantly forgiving him, he is always forgiving my shortcomings and accepting me as his mom. Tonight he told me that he would be good if I be the best, best, best mom. I asked him how do I do that?
His answer. Just be yourself.
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