I realized that I better not procrastinate journaling down some of the details from Jackson's birth before they become foggy. And they will become foggy. Heavenly Father designed the female brain that way so that we will continue to reproduce. : ) So here it is . . .
It was early Wednesday morning, almost exactly 3 am when I awoke completely soaked. It was as if a faucet was turned on inside of me. ANd for some reason instead of having the clear thought that it was my water breaking, I panicked. I yelled at James to turn on the light because
something was coming out of me. I guess I was just resolved to the fact that I wasn't going to go into labor and that I would be delivering this baby via repeat c-section, which was scheduled for February 1st (they wouldn't allow me to be induced so if I didn't go into labor by then, that's how it was going to go down). Thus my first thought was that blood was pouring out of me and I was panicked. But once we confirmed that the fluid was in fact clear, I was filled with excitement. I immediately jumped up and started getting ready. Because of my previous c-section I was told to come into the hospital sooner than if I had not had a previous c-section (i.e. when contractions are about six to seven minutes apart, or if my water broke). Only problem with getting ready was my water bag would NOT stop leaking for several minutes. But alas it subsided and James and I were very quickly out the door, leaving Ben at home sleeping with his Uncle Jeff in the room next to him.
By the time we got to the hospital and were checked in I started to get very mild contractions. They told me they would give it six hours and then start me on a light pitocin drip if I hadn't made progress by then. Once I was settled into my room, James went home to get Ben ready for and off to preschool. I waited until about 8 am to call my parents. By 9 am my contractions weren't intensifying so they started me on the pitocin, I think I was dilated to a two at this point. I immediately started to feel the contractions increase in intensity and frequency. I "hummed" my way through each one as I sat in my hospital room alone, praying for someone familiar to walk through the door soon, when finally my mom got there. James arrived back shortly after with little bro-in-law, Jeff in tote. My first though was
I don't think this sixteen-year-old wants anything to do with this scene. I let it slide for a while because things weren't so bad yet. But as soon as the pain was causing me to moan and groan out loud, I pulled James close and said please get this kid out of here. : ) Which I'm sure he had no objections to that request. My sister and new niece, Ashlynn (then six-weeks-old) had arrived too by then and I was so grateful to have my mom and sister there. I seriously couldn't have gotten through it with out them. My husband was a bit of a deer caught in the headlights when it came to the laboring part of the process. I finally just had to grab him and hold on tight to get through the contractions as they had really began to hurt. I can't really described the pain. I know some people refer to it as intense cramping. More like your body ripping apart from the inside. It was in my back, it was in my abdomen, it was everywhere. I really thought that I could be tough. I thought that I could get through it on my own. I was a bit disappointed when I realized that that wasn't ring to happen. I was not prepared. I mean completely unprepared. I didn't participate in any classes and I had hardly read anything about pain management techniques, etc. so it was really no surprise. I remember telling my mom in the midst of a bad contraction, "I didn't think it would be like this." Which she responded to laughing, "what did you think it was going to be like?" I also remember at this point James saying softly to me, "what's the point of not having the epidural?" And at that time I had no answer and asked for one.
Aaahhh, sweet relief. And then a nap. I slept pretty comfortably from about noon until maybe around 4. James asked me how I was going to know if things were progressing or getting close (they didn't want to check my progress often because my water broke and it increase the chance of infection every time they check.) I had the nurse explain to him about the pressure I would feel as the baby's head descended. Not much longer after that the pressure that I had been feeling for a little while had suddenly become much greater. I told James to go get the nurse, which he did but he was skeptical that they could "do" anything for me. Silly men. : ) Sure enough I was fully dilated and we were ready to have this baby. James immediately called my mom to tell her and my sister that it was time. Right away the pushing was tough business. I could feel each contraction enough to know when it was time to push and then would get three good pushes in per contraction. It became very hard for me to catch my breath in between contractions, so they handed me an oxygen mask, which was wonderful. It was at the pushing part where James really became a tremendous help to me. While my mom and sister stayed close to my face and fed me ice chips upon request and encouraged me, James kept his eye on the prize and rooted me on like it was a sporting event. Which was surprisingly very motivating. I could hear the excitement level in his voice increase when I was making could progress and it gave me the extra boost to give it my best effort. In total I pushed for about an hour and fifteen minutes. Again James' voice was priceless as our baby's head came into his view and I was filled with adrenaline as I gave my last push and suddenly our child was no longer in my belly, but on it. Then James did what he was completely set against before- he cut our baby's cord. It was nothing I was going to force him into or make him feel guilty for not wanting to do, but I think this is an important thing for dad's. It gives them a physical connection to the birth of their child, and I was just so glad that James got to experience it.
Jackson Thomas Greene was born on Wednesday, January 25th at 6:11 pm. He weighed a very healthy 8 pounds 6 ounces and was 21.25 inches long. I am so grateful that I was able to experience child birth with him and wouldn't change it for a repeat c-section for anything. I just wanted to be able to do what my body was designed by Heavenly inspiration to do. I realized that I was just so blessed and fortunate to have had the opportunity to carry this child inside of me, as many are not so lucky. But it was a nightly prayer of mine that Heavenly Father would let me experience the miracle of labor, and it was an experience I will always cherish. I love you Jackson and so glad that you are all mine, forever!
