this amazing blog, which not to sound corny or trite has changed my life by changing my outlook on marriage and love. It is seriously a must read. Through reading I have learned that I can't depend on externalities to make me happy-- i.e. my spouse's validation, my child's obedience, etc. I have to make me happy. This cute-as-can-be couple that author's this blog also have given me so much insight on how to create and maintain a healthier, happier marriage. And how it's actually possible to have little to no fighting in a marriage (and I do not mean disagreements or distress- these are a given), but fighting. Yelling and being less than kind had become such the norm for us that it really was a lesson to me that this doesn't need to be nor should it be the case. I feel like such a kinder spouse lately, and in turn, surprise surprise, I have been treated with such kindness. Anyways; far too much info. but I just wanted to record this down for my own purposes as perhaps a changing point in my life and my marriage towards a much happier path. And I just had to express what I was feeling just now while lying in bed with Ben as he drifted off to sleep for the night- and that is the overwhelming love I feel for my family. I love my two boys and am so blessed to have them. I love their father so much. It really is possible to fall in love with someone all over again. And I love our family. I love our interactions and the simple ways we spend our days together. And I love that the sweetest little baby in the whole world has brought all of this to me. I call him my angel and he really is just that. We have all bonded over our intense love for this tiny, and I mean tiny (we are talking 6% in weight) baby. Each one of us- Ben, James, and myself- will say at least once a day how we just love baby Jacky so much, too much! We all just want to squeeze him and never let go. So funny how love for a baby makes you want to squeeze them. My favorite part of the day is when James gets home and we sit side-by-side on the couch. Our feet up on the ottoman. I rest Jackson on my legs looking at us and we just sit and stare at this child that we created together. We laugh together at a funny face he makes. Or we gush together over how cute he is. And the other day, Thursday April 12th to be exact, we looked at each other with joy and excitement over his very first laugh.
And who wouldn't love these three cuties?!